As I got up on to the Bimah, I had a sudden urge to run home and hide, so I wouldn't have to read the whole sefer tehillim in public. despite the urge, I managed to get to the bimah, and start unwrapping the sefer tehillim. When I was Ready, I cleared my throat, Adjusted my glasses, and overcame the urge to run away. I began with the bracha, which had its own completely different nigun. I felt as if my voice was stronger then ever before, which gave me courage to continue. It felt as if any moment everybody would leave, and I would get a break to relax. When it turned out that no one was leaving, I was half relieved and half worried. I was half relieved since everybody was staying to listen to me, but I was half worried, since I was worried I would make a mistake, and then make a fool out of myself.
To Be Continued...